The Man I've Become (A Short Story)

(NB: I tried writing the dialogues with a Trinidadian accent. Have fun!)

“So ya goin tell me who money ya plan on wasting to go that damn girl school? Eh? Ya nuh hear ah talkin to ya?! Eh?! Ya deaf? Best answa before ah use this broom and choke the answer outta ya pipe hole!”

“But, Ma, ya say I mustn’t answ…”

“Boy! Ya nuh hear ah say don’t talk when I talking to ya? Lookin like you getting mad or something!” she boisterously interjected my response to a question I was beginning to consider she never really wanted the answer to.

If I were to be honest, I think the only reason she kept on asking me questions she clearly wanted no answers to was to continue her cacophonous outburst and her show of theatrics. But, I sat there anyways, because hey, I'm just eighteen. What the bloody hell do I know?

Surely, when I had made mention of this to her a few moments ago, naturally, I had expected some shock because in our little social bubble, such a thing was unconventional; but this, definitely not this. I intended to tell her my education would be fully funded by Trinidadian government. However, we’ve just been lazing in this sexist lane.

“Oh lawd! This all my fault cause ah can imagine, if ah neva tell ya father ta go stick he shaft unda a cotton tree root he wouldna been here ta raise ya like a man!” she began to wail, spilling a little too much information for my liking.

“And wha bout Julie?” she inquired. “Wha bout sweet Julie mango? Ya think she gon want a man that going to da same school as she to be working in da same job as she?”

And then it struck me as the venomous words slithered out her mouth. Would Julie think of me less than a man for my ambition? Would she too blinded by this archaic vail?

With all the courage I had within me and the steel in my balls, I stood up to her and cut her babbling.

“Ma STOP!” my voice thundered. “Now, ah done get a scholarship for that ‘damn school’ and ah don’t give a flying pig piss what nobody think! Ah make up my mind and that final!” I exhaled, sucked my teeth and walked out.

Months passed and though we shared common habitation, our words shared no common ground. As soon as I got home, she would throw her corn though and set the cap for whoever it fit to wear. But, I was resolute. At the end of the day, just like most parents, what she will need more than all is financial stability which I sought to give her. Which is why, when the day came to leave for Port Au Spain, I didn’t hesitate.

As I sat contemplating future events with my few belongings tucked neatly into my old grip, my train of thought was cut by the incessant knocking at my door.

“Laurence Huge Adolphus Phillips! Ya, pa come to talk to ya!”

My father?

I had no particular feelings towards the man nor did I question his absence for the saner part of my youth though his dull witted explanation was simply, “a man’s got to do what a man’s got to do”.

By this, I had already been making my way to greet him outside and from the corner I could see him sitting smugly as if he has conquered all the seven kingdoms, survived the long night, killed the night king and claimed the Iron Throne.

“Son,” he stood up acknowledging my presence, “good ta see ya”.

“Likewise Sir.” I nodded in agreement taking a seat.

“Mayleen gimme some rum and gin, mek mi an him gwan chat”, he ordered.

“Which gin and rum? Ya gimme money ta buy gin and rum? Ya damn fool?” she hissed dramatically to which he responded by sucking his teeth.

“Wah dis I hear bout ya goin nurse school? Dat a woman thing.’

I stood up, and gave him a nasty look, “so, after five years, this is what finally brought you back? Well guess what? I'm going. Like it or not father”.

I quickly spun on my heel to leave but he pulled my arm, forcing me to face him.

“Boy! Don’t ya walk away from me when ah talking! I help put ya here and ah can damn well tek ya out! Now listen to me!”

“Or w-h-a-t? ya gon walk out again? Hmm?” I asked slamming my chest into his.

“Ah never walkout on unno! Hustle I go hustle so ya, ya likkle pissntail boy can nyam! I never walk out to do no sissy shit like you want to do. Ya is a man, act like it!”

Right then, it was as if heaven had intervened and Mr. Tulloh, my teacher pulled up at the gate. I yanked my hand out his grasp and sauntered back out to the verandah. I made full contact with both my parents and said, “this, this is what I real man does”.

“And you never saw him again daddy?” Arya questioned, innocence beaming from her eyes.

“No, but I'm happy with you and mommy. And wherever he is, I know he’s proud of me. It’s hard to miss the man I’ve become; don’t you think?